better now (feat. hix)

lyrics:

all alone 
please stop calling up my phone 
i’ve  been on my own
now my heart is cold 

you broke all my trust, 
now it hurts to think of us 
a picture frame covered in dust ,
was it love or was it lust 

now i sleep way too much 
dreaming of you, missing your touch
now i’m off these drugs 
the only things that keeps me numb 


not what you want not what you need
i’m not enough for anything 
you stabbed my heart left me to bleed 
now there’s a hole where you used to be


shoutout twilightblue and draven for everything. love y’all

all alone (twilightblue)

produced, written, sang, mixed and mastered by me
lyrics -
Ruin everything I try and do, cause it’s on my mind
So much that I gotta prove, too scared to try
I’m sick of everyone I just want you, in my life
I know I’ve got nothing to lose, but still I hide
Will I find out how to break out of the cycle
Hurry up, make a choice now and pick the right one
I’ll be alone once you go I know I’ll bleed out
I won’t fight it
And I won’t scream for help
Reasons, yeah I know all mine
Never really wanted to live this life
Still breathing, and I don’t know why
Already passed my original time
I need you, all the time
You are the one who calms my mind
A feeling, that feels so right
A feeling I need all the time
So tired but that’s nothing new
Just need more time
Motivation, never heard of you
Too hard to find
I’m submerging in despair
What a waste of my own life
Fabricated complications
Build up in my mind

Is it alright to feel this way
You hope I make it through another day
New commitments got me freaking out
It’s so exhausting to speak about
I’ve fallen too many time
Is it possible to rewind
I’ve wasted too much time 
And too many tears

Ruin everything I try and do, cause it’s on my mind
So much that I gotta prove, too scared to try
I’m sick of everyone I just want you, in my life
I know I’ve got nothing to lose, but still I hide
Will I find out how to break out of the cycle
Hurry up, make a choice now and pick the right one
I’ll be alone one you go I know I’ll bleed out
I won’t fight it
And I won’t scream for help
Reasons, yeah I know all mine
Never really wanted to live this life
Still breathing, and I don’t know why
Already passed my original time
I need you, all the time
You are the one who calms my mind
A feeling, that feels so right
A feeling I need all the time
So tired but that’s nothing new
Just need more time
Motivation, never heard of you
Too hard to find
I’m submerging in despair
What a waste of my own life
Fabricated complications
Build up in my mind

fallen too many times

(prod. idly blare)
feat @greenwood2000

(vacant)
been stuck in my bedroom lately contemplating  
they tell me i need help i dont need saving 
how do u fix a broken soul when thats all what they've known 
they ask what am i scared of i answer i dont know 
maybe its myself or that these walls will close in on me   
oh i falter oh i wonder 
how it feels to b okay is it really how they say  
is it my fault by the way i ponder 
when i go it'll all b over 
gave my heart and soul to the one i owed 

(greenwood)
i'd wait for you to call
so senseless when we talk
think that i've been sick again
i can't tell you what it really is
i was good for like a minute, never lasts though
said you wish that i would listen but i can't so
i could tell you what's been killing me, what's happening
really i wish you could understand like half of it
feeling something broke and worthless
i would travel back and tell myself that you were worth this
face the silence it just feels wrong
hard to blame the sickness, it's been part of me for so long
think i know from where you left off
i would do it different, it's just been so long since we've talked
heavy hand inside a freeze frame
i was focused on just tryna find some meaning
kinda thought you'd always be there
in the mountain air and cedar
i just really want to see her

seclusion (w/ greenwood) (idly blare)

08 [bonus track]

i see the house burn down over nite.
and id relive it all again in another life.. 

lyrics

face me 
the darkness will replace me

/

taste me
im overcooking tryna take heat

/

over done
is this how we are, is it over love

/

im tryna bring light to the things in the dark 
but it seems like it cant get any lower ugh

/

where were u when i called 
7am in the morn.
ran off w/ no notice
i swear i didnt leave those scars..scars

/

wanted its all i wanted x2

/

ik the walls r caving in
we cant b closed we're close to sin
ik the walls r caving in
ik the walls r caving 

/

pouring the gasoline all over the driveway
despite the fact we said we'd b living the right way
pouring whats left of the dark make me sideways 
its burning every edge of my soul in the right way

/

not a thing u could do could unblur in this high state
a fine face 
but no room, yeah no space 
its not much to me if i live well but dont die great

/

im changing, im changing, im changing form
and im changing
im taking off and im spacious
i love it here but i hate it 

/

in this lake i bleed my final form
ur words dont anything to me no more

/

wanted all i wanted was for u to save me
im not sorry, in this one life u cant redo shit

/

i been hella places
but nothing compares to the basics
the simple things in life we take for granted
its so hard to fake it

/

dangerous, but its so dangerous 
in this fucking storm
im taken by the wind
they'll take u in this form

/

theres not much
not much you can do about it 

/
let them take you how u are.
the world will be the same when you're gone.

your former

your-former [bonus track] (empty roads)

Holding your hand by the reservoir….

Lyrics:

Holding your hand by the reservoir 
admiring just how pretty you are 
Even your eyes your nose your hair your lips your head to your toes
I want it all
I can’t get enough
I float away when I feel your touch is this what they call love


I ran into the reservoir after the dog and i got wet
But it was worth it to see you smile I’d do it again 
Then I got lost in your hazel iris
Sunlight tied around your hair
And the butterflies in my stomach never left 
It’s so new to me when you hold my hand I don’t know how to act
Sweating uncontrollably when I call you beautiful I stare at the grass

holding your hand by the reservoir (cobalt)

(You're always..) 
When will you move on
(Holding on)
Please I'm sick of it..

I gave my heart and my soul
I let you take it all
The darkness it evolved
I thought you said that it'd go?
Please leave this isn't your home
(Please just go)

I've got nothing left to spare
My bones you've scraped, I'm aware
That you want so much more
But I won't be your whore

Oh you've had me for years
I'm done screaming through tears
You always whisper in my ear
I've bled too much, how am I here?

You broke me apart
Now I feel like a spare piece
Open my heart
See the memories of us
I just can't cope with the way this is going
I remember the days we would bloom love was flowing

Now I'm floating down, in a river on my own
Trapped inside these paper walls
Metaphorically alone
Just consider what you've done
And maybe change your mind before I go
'Cause I'm not coming back
Until this fairytale is over now

I've had enough with you inside my body
Reject your presense but you never resign 
Always lurking in the night

I've had enough telling others it's not me
Had enough crying abt how u got me
No you ain't got me, no more 

I've got nothing left to spare
My bones you've scraped, I'm aware
That you want so much more
But I won't be your whore

Oh you've had me for years
I'm done screaming through tears
You always whisper in my ear
I've bled too much, how am I here?

Gears are turning
I keep learning
Not to trust those around me
I'm just hurting
I'm such a burden
I'm lost at sea and I'm drowning

I'm beat up and bruised
Keep on being abused
I'm just fighting for my life
and I don't want to lose
Burry me, carry me
Tell me I'm okay
You kick me when I'm down but
I grew up this way

I've got nothing left to spare
My bones you've scraped, I don't care
I will mend my soul, my body will be whole

You may have had me for years
But I'm done screaming through tears
You always whispered in my ear
I've bled so much, but I'm still here

spare ft. Vails x Lunalis (prod. PartyAtTheMoonTower)

prod. idly blare
lyrics

oh hows ur head doing baby
cuz u burned a hole thru mine
at the end of the day we all want more time
so no sleeping
baby im daydreaming
thinking bout better days
praying for a better way

i miss smoking tobacco
i gave u my gun with no ammo
just to see what u would do if one day i let go
u pulled the trigger back n hurt me little by little
its fucked up but nowadays dont sleep at all
im paranoid that one day u wont catch my fall
i kno its all my fault
but i gotta finish what i started
i dont even like recording make me sick to my stomach
i dont like what i make
n i dont like how u say that u like what i make
happy birthday
hope u got what u wanted
so happy
but i continue falling

oh hows ur head doing baby
cuz u burned a hole thru mine
at the end of the day we all want more time
so no sleeping
baby im daydreaming
thinking bout better days
praying for a better way

your eyes can actually shoot lasers if you try hard enough (idly blare)

prod. eclipse7

(without you...)
let me go,
i dont know who to blame when my world comes crashing.. down
and ill never know whats truly best for me-
it wont take much time and,
i cant take just half of this,
time only kills if you let it,
i dont want silence to kill us,
ive been wanting some time alone with my feeilngs.
(i cant picture life without you)
(no value)
x2

let me go, i dont know who to blame when my world comes crashing down
and ill never know whats truly best for me.
it wont take much time and
i cant take just half of this
time only kills if you let it
i dont want silence to kill us :(

(gone in the head)
(feelings..)
(i cant picture life without you)
(no value)

gone in the head.

silence with my feelings

silence killed us

YOU *ACOUSTIC VERSION* (prod. by neverforever)

Hammy - You Broke Me

rock bottom

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your eyes can actually shoot lasers if you try hard enough (idly blare)

notahero

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