@rivilin

Lyrics

I say I'm happy but I'm not fake a smile it takes a lot
No energy feeling lost, what's the point now your gone
Plagued by nightmares where I'm shot, through the head and i wake up
Didn't think that was a dream, no I'm losing losing weak

Yeah i hear these ghost yeah outside my hallway
My windows covered in ash at the moment
I don't think ill ever escape from this
The walls start to breathe and the eyes just open up

Moving back and fourth like I'm in a body
Of some disfigured by product of hate
I guess ill make my home right here
I'm more comfortable being trapped inside then exposed
 
To the daylight of the morning
Where I hear pretty whispers just calling my name
And I wake up in a day dream
Thinking that you just went out to get coffee or you went to work

But yeah i know that it wasn't real
That's why i stay awake in the night time
So i know i don't get disappointed by the morning
When i wake and your not there

Cus you know this life gets a bit difficult at times
Yeah I don't think I'm coping i think that I'm lost
Yeah teetering on the edge of suicide
Like yeah do i do it or do i wait to die

Cus it feels like you picked out the gems from my bones
I was so beautiful now I'm empty and all alone
Cus you love to put your two hands in my insides
And you push me on the stage where I'm blinded by the light

Yeah I'm tripping on my own tongue try to find the words
Just to tell my family that im not ok, i hurt
Tell me when was the last time that anyone cared
Probably when you read my eulogy when im fucking dead

Everyone has their opinions on why i takes these fucking drugs
Yeah just to feel numb so i cant give a fuck
Im sick of overthinking about everything in my life
And you know youre fucked up too

Its crazy they don't get it
Just a-fucking-live cuz I got people that be caring
Standing on the edge and staring
At the faces warped from cries if took this step to end it

Walls be closing so I'm phoning in cuz I feel so lone
On the edge of it, cuz I'm on a binge and I know it shows
Sold my soul for shit boy this ain't a skit, man I feel so cold
Lost it in a f it, I was in a binge, can't take back those

So I live with it, and I loop a bit, and I loop a bit
Like I broken record I'm forgotten bitch
I know I got a problem, made a fucking list
Knowing I'm adding daily cuz I'm throwing fits

My mental state be going down a pit
I got a itch, which I gotta fix
Cuz I'm bleeding out from scratching all of it

These walls are closing in
Losing all my breath
Thinking did I live and life without a end

Gasping for a breath
Fighting for my friends
Fuck I gotta make it, I ain't ready yet

Gotta make amends
Cannot fly again
Off the handle, man I'm fucking losing it

Grounded by a bend
Blacking out again
Sober up until it happens all again

Fucked up I need to lay low
Beta blockers with the Faygo
Anxiety got me fucked up with these fake thoughts screaming lameo

So I close my eyes till it fade away
Open up and its another day
Another day issa another waste
Man I fucking hate, that I think this way

Losing It

⸸ spotify ⸸

$LOTHBOI x Rivilin - Losing It

prod. ocin
guitars: yago

(I always found it hard 
The answers 
X2) 

I always found it hard to find 
The answers 
To all the problems they describe 
No answers 
Could ever save us from our lies girl 
Could ever save us from the night girl 
Cause every fucking road 

We can’t go wrong 
Feel it in your back now 
I can’t go wrong 
No more luck I’m growing fast now 
I can’t go wrong 
Feel it in your head now 
We can’t go wrong 
I can’t 

I can’t tell what’s real no more 
I can’t feel love am I insane? 
All these thoughts consume my brain 
You should leave me here in the rain girl 
Leave me alone, I’m in my zone 
No matter what I’ll find a way 
way 

Can’t go wrong 
Feel it in your back now 
I can’t go wrong 
No more luck I’m growing fast now 
I can’t go wrong 
feel it in your head now 
we can’t go wrong 
I can’t

can't go wrong

BATHING IN ACID, WATCH THE FLESH BREAK, BONES JUST REMAIN
I FELL IN LOVE WITH THE SUBSTANCE, A PIECE OF SHIT, YEAH ALL LOVE DECAYED
I'LL TAKE THE HINT AND ILL GO NOW, I GUESS SITRALINE'S NOW HERE TO STAY
THE HATE SWELLS IN THE GUT NOW, WILL I STAY OR EMBRACE THE PAIN

IM WAKING UP TO THE PANIC ATTACKS, 
IM UNSTABLE FOR TRYNA MAKE IT OUT JUST IN TACK
CANT SYMPATHIZE YEAH, DONT AGREE WITH ANY OF THAT, 
I TRY TO BUILD UP AND THEN I FEEL MY BONES INTERJECT

IT'S LIKE WADING THROUGH THE FOG NOW THE MEMORIES BLACK
DONT REMEMBER WHO THE FUCK I WAS GUESS HE'S NOT COMING BACK
THE KID YOU LOVED, SMOTHERED IN AN ANGER
AND YOU SHOVE, TELL HIM HE'S A STRANGER

AS YOUR’E MELTING YOUR BRAIN WITH DEODORANT CANS
HUFFING ON CHEMICALS, WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU MAN
YOU SAY YOUR HARD, THINKING YOURE A STAR,
I'D RATHER FUCKING KILLING MYSELF THAN EVEN GET ALONG

WITH SOMEONE SO FAKE, YEAH A LIAR, YEAH WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU NOW
YOUR EYES, THEY CHANGE FREEZE ME UP AND I SHATTER ON THE GROUND
WHEN YOU PUSH YEAH, TIEING UP A NOOSE YEAH,
ITS BEEN A FEW YEARS, THINK ILL CUT OFF ALL MY LOOSE ENDS, CANT MEND

Panic

ART BY SUICIDALGALLERY
https://www.instagram.com/suicidalgallery/

LYRICS:

the way you stare it burns
what's left of me I never learn
hells jaws below consume
the way you smile makes me return

yeah call me a waste of space
Yeah say im not worth your time
yeah hiding behind a lie
watch my mental state decline

yeah watch as I withdraw
tell me how do I repair a broken core
I try to explain but you ignore
I fall further than before

yeah crumbling on myself
thought I could trust someone again
no, it's a lie yeah you were right
suicide will fix my head

no im not fine take some more drugs
didnt think id be alone
inside are breaking everything is shaking
everyone I loved is gone

saying you care, but you just share all your moments yeah with him
breaking apart, wish on a star didnt think I’d lose a friend
you want to go behind my back and break my trust again and again
didnt think I’d lose my hope in  being alive but now I wish for death

isn't it crazy how you can put everything into someone you love
but you know that you're never enough, numbing the pain out with the drugs
watch the skin start to peel and flake, the person I love is the one I hate
I should of crossed off I shouldn't let you in, I know that was just a mistake

Tired

ART BY SUICIDALGALLERY
https://www.instagram.com/suicidalgallery/

LYRICS:

jealousy got me messed up
fade out with a cloak made of pain
brittle bones start to snap I watch you come back 
the mental illness covers my eyes black

empathy isn't needed
this world that I create is my own little hell
watch your family just concede when they ask you to leave
yeah the cracks in my skin start to fray

it's like my bodies stuck in static, all my emotions going manic 
as the floor just starts to crumble and im falling, falling down
I harbor guilt from the resentment, maybe love was never mentioned
mind is filled with ignorance as the devil starts to consume

aspirations with the drugs take some more it's not enough
id rather feel something empty than deal with all the pain
a cloud it forms around my head depression says he's now my friend
im always empty all alone, I guess ill face this on my own

it’s what I see in my dreams, is this real watcha mean
contradicting on every word that I try to say
I try to be only me, it's all the hate yeah it seethes
there’s complications yeah every time that I try to stay

im on my knees now crawling pushing down, try to leave
this hallucination is clouding up your mental state
feel the flame at my feet watch the sky swallow me
their’s hesitation on all the words that I try to say


PARADOXX:

On all the words i try to say 
But i can't get them out of me

It's a double edged sword 
every time i speak i get blood on my palms 

I try to stay calm and collected but everything's breaking down on me 
I'm selective of the words that i speak but it's counquering me 
I get trapped in my mind all the time 

I feel my body rotting away from inside out 
But i can't be bothered to scream , I'm too weak to make a sound

And all this angst , all this doubt is eating me up alive
But i let it happen so who can i blame , I'll seek myself out

Hard Ft. Paradoxx

prod. ocin

In my dreams will I forget? 
Why won’t you understand? 
This shit’s never gonna end 
In my dreams I can’t forget 
In my dreams will I forget? 
Why won’t you understand? 
This shit’s never gonna end 
In their dreams they can’t forget 

Calm down it’s just a game 
Lights out and isolate 
I’m stuck here in my brain 
I can’t control your actions 
You, no you wouldn’t get it 
Up again, girl can you feel it 
Now I can hear them saying 
Fuck your life no you’re not fitting in 

No love in sight 
True love, true crime 
Come get inside 
My paradise 

Calm down it’s just a game 
Lights out and isolate 
I’m stuck here in my brain 
I can’t control your actions 
You, no you wouldn’t get it 
Up again, girl can you feel it 
Now I can hear them saying, 
fuck your life no you’re not fitting in 

where did this all begin? 
Girl, will you let me in? 
True love I’ll bring 

In my dreams will I forget? 
Why won’t you understand? 
This shit’s never gonna end 
In my dreams I can’t forget

true love

Darth Rose:
Insta - www.instagram.com/real.darth.rose/
YouTube - www.youtube.com/channel/UCiyDQmFkkDKy...
Twitter - twitter.com/DarthRose3
My Discord - darthrose
linktree - linktr.ee/DarthRose

producer - The Ushanka Boy
Insta - https://www.instagram.com/ushanka.boy/
Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/@TheUshankaBoyBeats

cover art - seabxn
Insta - https://www.instagram.com/seabxn/

RED (Prod.The Ushanka Boy)

LYRICS:

You know I can't be someone that you depend on
Cus you know when you hit me up I will not answer
The consequences of separation are never easy
And when you’re all alone you hit me up, say that you need me

But I'm sick of that, I don't wanna be used to the grave
Panic attacks hit the stage open up I'm in a state
Dont wanna talk about feelings why can't I be left alone
I'm not coping, I’m not good, I didn't think that it would show

Yeah cus, I didn't want to be someone that you depend on
I didn't want to be the one that didn't answer
You said "Hold your tongue cus I don't want to hear you ever speak,
You just stay inside, haven't had a reply in a week."

"I hope you suffer in the bed that you have made for yourself
Are you happy all alone, in this hell are you content?"
"Yeah I don't care about you, I guess this is goodbye,
Cus I still don't understand the reasons why you wanna die."

Cus I hate you, when you break me, you choose
It was always us two back then I was confused
It's always when I see you falter I slip up to
I see that you are amused by the fact I need you

You know I couldn't help you when you just suffered
You know I couldn't be something that you wanted
Always getting up at me like I made a mistake
Push us back and then we break, constant fighting, say we’re fake

You wanna reprimand me for times when I didn't understand
Don't want to explain it to me so you give me the backhand
You say that I'm selfish for trying to be someone that just cares
But you run away, ignore me then just give me a blank stare

So what the fuck is up with it, I get it yeah you hate
Everyone who doesn't understand the pain that you create
You say you wanna tear them down in hopes that they never exist
I guess we all just have opinions and to you they don't mean shit

I see, "You suffer in the bed that you made for yourself
Are you happy, all alone in this hell are you content?"
"Yeah you know I care about you, I guess this is goodbye
And I still don't understand the reasons why you wanna die."

Cus I hate you, when you break me, you choose
It was always us two back then I was confused
It's always when I see you falter I slip up to
I see that you are amused by the fact I need you

Cautious

stream

somehow (prod. nomai)

https://soundcloud.com/xorochii
prod soprettyanxiety

Knock Knock

[Music Video ↓]

$LOTHBOI x Xorochi - Knock Knock

stream on all platforms here: https://tr.ee/V0XBY5l71z

over and over (prod. zuubek)

skylarallen