LONELY HELL

you break again, you lose control
your friends they’re fake, they’ll take you whole
this feeling will never end
I feel like I’ve lost again

you break again, you lose control
your friends they’re fake, they just want your soul
it’s not like I can’t pretend
won’t you just break me again

this depression comes in separate stages
feeling manic, your losing patience 
of me and this situation again 
it’s just all inside my head

thinking you have died
thinking I’m alright
but I’m losing to circumstances again
crashed my car, I’ve gone unfed

losing weight like no tomorrow
I’m that skeleton you borrow
staying high to deal with sorrow
what’s the point of this?

between you and me?
I guess I don’t want to feel a thing

this depression comes in separate stages
feeling manic, your losing patience 
of me and this situation again 
it’s just all inside my head

thinking, your alive,
thinking we’re alright
but we’re not,
cus you only ever visit me inside my dreams

surrounded by four walls, 
everything is just moving and breathing
you don’t care anymore
my worst enemy is myself

cus I need to leave,
to change up again
won’t you just 
let me rest my head

Stages

https://soundcloud.com/rivilin/sets/becoming-the-static-in-between



you act like I don’t exist at all,
turn it back to me, I fell in love with a fiend
codeine pushed me down on the floor
throwing fists at my face, my back is against the wall

you act like I don’t exist at all
I can’t believe this is what love is meant to be
your feelings hang me off the floor
I feel like  this time I know it just has to end

changing of feelings I see you looking at him, not me
yeah you know it’s messed me uprightly
cutting my skin with the words you never said yeah
whys this feel like I’ve fallen in love again

wasted ashes on my shoes, I feel like im just being used
push me down, climb on top of me, what, yeah you make me so confused
what did I mean to you, yeah nothing, won’t you just make me feel just something
more than this angst inside, push it down, bury it, you know I won’t come out alive

digging up a grave of a messy past
everything moves to fast and I can’t catch up
is this all I am,
just the space in between

you act like I don’t exist at all,
turn it back to me, I fell in love with a fiend
codeine pushed me down on the floor
throwing fists at my face, my back is against the wall

you act like I don’t exist at all
I can’t believe this is what love is meant to be
your feelings hang me off the floor
I feel like  this time I know it just has to end

depression, it’s manic, everything’s a mess
in a graveyard with best friends, you say it’s just stress
you said I should I run away from you,
I guess you were right, I’ve never felt so abused


hanging by a rope of best intentions,
what’s this, now I know you never mentioned
our love to anyone else, 
you never showed, you never tell

your issues to me when im concerned
leave me on seen again, yeah it’s just perfect
I’d rather kill myself 
than be embraced by you again

all you ever did was call me when you were suicidal
your to drunk, calm down, left me on idle
is this all I am,
just the space in between

CUTTING SKIN

Check out my homie: https://soundcloud.com/ripthepetals



Rivilin:

What do you want, 
what do you need,
Nothing much, nothing more Left to rot on the floor
Stabbed in the throat, bleeding gushing everything is fine

Lost in my dreams
So numb I don’t feel a thing
Breaking bones, just to wake up, Now im feeling so just stuck
In my dreams, smothering me till I won’t wake up

how do you define my personality
am I to you just another insecurity
we can walk right through me, left the house that we built
where we thought that we never existed

down the ally is where I roam prescription ghost is how im known
it was evident that you never notice I was even their
you built support rafters of disgust underneath my skin
a pedal stool for emptiness that seeps through scars on my chin

no heartache without me, just tension in between
of places I love, the ones I hate, yeah now im your fiend
watch my life from the soapbox, won’t you come and let me rot
im sick of hanging onto strings that don’t seem to ever move

can I call this living, more sleep then im awake
becoming a paperweight for my sheets I feel like im lost in a state
crack in the crown won’t mend back on the drugs again
ash on my fingernails I think its time to leave

RIPTHEPETALS:

Laying In my bed, colour in my tattoos
I love your face when your in a bad mood
These pills fuck up my lust
Girl hold me close I want your touch
I don’t really care what they think
Blossom Boy till I lay down 6 feet deep
Loser kid they all hated Jamie
The petals up from this pit I lay in

Run it up cut my wrist when I cry, yeah
Hate me, bury me, amphetamines in my stream, OD, yeah
Cheating hoe, get out of our scene, ayyo
You wanna be the fucking kid, put some work in
We the Coven, don’t fuck with the clique, ayyo
Suicide in our minds, so we’ll die for you

WHAT DO YOU NEED (FT. RIPTHEPETALS)

Yeah, Yeah

burning in my fingertips yeah im lonely
tell me what ya feel when you hold me
carving holes in my stomach, 
codeine rupture, everyone’s panicked, there’s no closure

freezing in my bones, say you love me
whats it means when you push me down slowly
waking in my bed and your not their
I guess this is what love is meant to be

lying in another tongue 
people all around me everything feels numb
Lovan, Zyprexa, they’ll tell ya that it’ll fix ya
turning pages in medicine when your mind just doesn’t make sense

I feel like no one really ever gets me
swallowed by just the blackness of anxiety
four walls surround me they close,
remember I found you cold

yeah no wonder that I can’t stop the shaking
memories they plague me and im always mistaken
with the words that I use to say when you were around
but that doesn’t matter anymore when your buried 6 feet underground

drugged up messed up biting on your lips
eyes shut lose touch, claim your life’s a miss
yeah I know it sad to see you go
but I just can’t blame myself for you anymore

burning in my fingertips yeah im lonely
tell me what ya feel when you hold me
carving holes in my stomach, 
codeine rupture, everyone’s panicked, there’s no closure

freezing in my bones, say you love me
whats it means when you push me down slowly
waking in my bed and your not their
I guess this is what love is meant to be

you just watch me fall down, its nothing new
im writhing with disgust, keep me alive to im brand new

NOTHING NEW

its temporal shift in my mindstate you’re late
im trying to debate if im worth it, I hate me
cus you wanna block me out on the daily
im come to the conclusion it’s my fault lately

your eyes now water down to your cheekbones
its a hollow heart and an empty crosshair
your bones start to crack at the pressure
when you realize that you’re alone

medicate fuck me up in a new way
disappointed yea im left in the ashtray
you know me, im that kid whos forgettable
you did something that’s so unforgivable

hesitate, kick me out in the alleyway
winters coming and im lost in the picture frame
prescription ghost, you lost your place in her heart again
WHAT DO I DO NOW

cus I don’t want to be alone
yeah im crush down, im crushed down
your burning at the ends of my soul
cus it hurts now it hurts now

sinking down into the worst of days
didn’t make sense how I ended this way
sick to my stomach yeah
I can’t bear to look at myself anymore

my mother says I was always perfect
but I don’t remember the last time I could smile

I'M ONLY TEMPORARY

yeah, yeah, from the bowels of the underbelly i rise
my mother misses my smile
hung out by the ashes next to the canvas 
where you painted my soul

i see you lost in your problems
i see you locked to the floor
so bring your kisses to my cheek
yeah why cant i let you go

sick to death of feeling this way yeah 
so pull out my veins and control me like a puppet
see your mouth open like a void yeah
i settle in and just loose control

singing out to the starry night with no reply
i see my wounds start to falter wont you kiss me goodnight

what do you have to say, what did you mean
whats the point of talking when you dont contribute anything
so how did you leave us here, yeah how do you feel
cus im so sick of hearing about how your still struggling

bury me under the footprints in snow
where you know ill never be found
im that ghost in the corner
who still sings your name in the ground

you see me overseas, 
hitting my phone up sliding in
i dont want none of that 
im tryna rebuild from withing

you call me up in the morning
try my best to ignore it
but it kills me inside
waking alone within the dark

so ill stay high just to cope now
ill roll a few blunts and ill pass out
screaming out my name to the stars
swear im cursed from the start

Sundried

https://linktr.ee/Rivilin

https://soundcloud.com/ripthepetals

Rivilin
yeah baby  im gone you know i don’t mess with the past
but I know you just try to hit me up and fuck with my heart
now im alone darkness seems to swallow all of me
till my room fills with light and I see you hitting up my phone

cus im chilling with the vermin swarm, drug addictions all we know
best intentions peeling back my scalp you grab a bottle and take my soul
all the money I have got spent on frivolous things
try to fill an empty void with friends and designer rings
 
RipThePetals

I've got fake friends who dip when they pop off
New friends only like me cause im Petals
I've lost too many friends to the drugs, but they give me more, when i'm coming down, just to keep me around

And i can't answer the question to why your coming back to me
Your blowing up my phone just to treat me like i'm the enemy
I'll fall in love again, just a chip in my heart
Girl you broke me apart, but i can't seem to let you outta my arms

Rivilin


so what did  you say, what did you say
i don’t wanna feel like this anymore
so why did I turn, why did we fight
everytime i seem to be just at your door

so what did you mean, so what did you mean
that everyone just wants a little piece of me
the shadows seem to stalk im out of my mind
I feel like paranoia gets the best of me

yeah so baby im gone, try to fill conversation with validation
but you just want to chuck it back in my face no imagination
yeah if you just really want to hate me
At least just say it to me face say it to my face

if you just really wanted something  yeah
why can’t you just take it and let me just fucking leave
cus it always ends up this way
two best friends fighting over someone that we wanna hate


RipThePetals

Hate me, always love it when you tell me that you hate me
On these amphetamines, you tell me that you break me
All those words you've never spoken that I can't read
I’ve been abused in every fucking way so

You cant do a fucking thing to me
I see my demons when I’m smoking weed
I think about it they look just like you, when you know the truth, come crawling back to me

INVALID FT. RIPTHEPETALS

https://linktr.ee/Rivilin

https://soundcloud.com/ripthepetals

Rivilin

I wanna see you smile but I keep that on the low
I wanna make you mine yeah but you already know
that your wasting time yeah I take that as a blow
your knuckles hit the spine and now im passed out on the floor

you love to cut me down but you keep that on the low
you hate it when i leave but you keep begging for more
this isn’t love its fire and your burning at my soul
i try to win this time, but i keep begging for more

Ripthepetals

I’m over these meds and all the bitches in my fucking bed
I fall in love too easily
I'm over all of these texts that say you flaking to him, its so hard to say I want company

It's just another life I guess
Another fucked mistake my soul made
It's just another life i fucked up, baby im fucked up, give me a break

Rivilin

yeah it’s like my best intentions never seem to go to plan they’re just mistakes
you're just a toxin in my skin medicated to forget
im popping tags for serotonin always know it don’t work
so you lay me on a pedal stool to try make me feel like im worth it

but you know its toxic, don’t you know it fucks with chemicals
plagued with awful memories so im just forced to forget

Ripthepetals

I just wish that I was pretty as fuck, but ima jealous cunt, im throwing up in the bathroom
And no one else can compare to you, but it's not fair to you to say that i'm the one you want

I just wish that I was pretty as fuck, but ima jealous cunt, im throwing up in the bathroom
And no one else can compare to you, but it's not fair to you to say that i'm the one you want

KEEP ME ON THE LOW FT. RIPTHEPETALS

https://linktr.ee/Rivilin

https://soundcloud.com/ripthepetals


RipThePetals

Icy Veins
Freeze within
Calm me down
Think like him

Passion fades from everyone I know
The flowers grow, when your all alone

It's nice to know you cared, I never cared at all
I never cared

Rivilin

ill pop a few more, i‘ll pop a few more
cus i don’t know where ill end up if I accept myself
valium to lithium yeah this is just a false hell
scratching at my faults until i end up hating myself

I turn the whip hard I flip the fucking car
and now im still struggling to put my head in place
Percocet’s to credit cards yeah my minds going numb now
do a few more lines so I can just forget about myself  

RipThePetals

Cigarette in my hand
Stains on my jeans from when the ash mixed with the tears
I'm in a false hell
And i'm tryna get out, im tryna get out, Im tryna get out

It wasn't fair i put you through that
Im manic, depressed, i'm in all this stress
I couldn't even tell that i was fucked up
And i'm tryna get out, im tryna get out, Im tryna get out

And i'm tryna get out, im tryna get out, I'm trying, trying

UNCOLOURED FT. RIPTHEPETALS

https://linktr.ee/Rivilin

https://soundcloud.com/ripthepetals

Rivilin

by the willow tree yeah you push me back
time stood still and I swear i could feel your pain

what’s it like to love someone who can’t get out of bed
drag the bones across the furniture like im not there
just a decoration to show me that you don’t care
I know you hurt just as much as me but you know this ain’t fair


what do you mean? what did you say, why do you care shit
don’t want to live don’t want to leave, struggle to breathe quit

Ripthepetals - (I won’t fuck it up this time)

panic attacks turning to drugs don’t want to feel this
smothered in bed, floating above, killing myself, bliss

Ripthepetals -  (I better not fuck it up this time)

what did you mean, what did you hear, tell em you know shit
where do I go, where do I turn, sinking into this

Ripthepetals -  (I won’t fuck it up this time)

how do I speak, how do I tell? why don’t you get this
going below, sinking to hell, I think I love this

Ripthepetals -  (I better not fuck it up this time)

i don’t get 
why im so alone
sinking sinking fucking sinking yeah im paralyzed
bones of stone, yeah no one gets it, thoughts of suicide

i don’t get 
how I live like this
breaking, breaking from depression burning inside out
cutting out everything left until im filled with doubt


Ripthepetals

I see the way you look at him and I just crumble up inside
I think i fell in love in your car when you picked me up and I saw your eyes

I had a pretty pest
Petals the pessimist
I had a pretty pest, i overthink and fucked it up alright

KETCHUP FT. RIPTHEPETALS

Self produced / Sad  

CONTACT: RIVILINAU@GMAIL.COM

Sundried

Rivilin

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